This is my College Control Circle! I got this idea from Dr. Lindsey Doe, sexologist and host of the absolutely wonderful sex education YouTube Channel sexplanations. She did a video where she explains how she deals with sexual injustices. In the video she draws a circle. Inside of the circle she writes all the things she has control over the situation. On the outside she writes everything she doesn’t have control over. She then advises to focus on what’s inside the circle.
I was slightly depressed this evening and decided to give this a go with my college predicament. I grabbed my sketchbook, some markers and something to trace for the circle. I first grabbed a CD before I realized that I needed a bigger circle.
"HUZZAH!" I thought, "I NEED A BIGGER CIRCLE! THERE IS MORE IN MY CONTROL THAN I REALIZE!" Even before starting the project, I was feeling much better. I sat down and started writing down all the things I had control over, things like "what college I choose to go to", "when/if I choose to go back", "how I choose to spend my time off", etc. These aren’t necessarily things I am actively controlling right now, but they are in my control. It was a little hard at first, but soon I found myself running out of room! I kept coming back to this circle even after I had moved on to outside it and every time I had to squeeze another thing in I felt more and more powerful.
Writing outside the circle was the opposite of how writing inside the circle felt. It started out very easy to write down the things I had no control over. Things like “how my mom feels”, “what others think”, and “that I already left MICA” came out instantly, but soon it got harder and harder to think of things I didn’t have control over. I had so much empty space to fill! That also felt really good. I decided to use yellow to connect related items as well, such as “my past” and “my future” i.e. I have no control over my past, but I have an immense amount over my future. I eventually got a good amount of things written down in both categories but I still had more things inside the circle than out. Knowing that gives me hope.
The circle is full! I can do this!
I really want to thank Lindsey for making me aware of this coping mechanism. It helped so much to have everything written out in front of me instead of buzzing around inside my head. I will definitely be using this in this future.
Sexplanations is an amazing channel with great information and a wonderfully charming host. You can (and should) also follow sexplanations and Lindsey on tumblr and Twitter and like them on Facebook.